


The First Time

by societytrash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Friendship, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Pining, Sad Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/societytrash/pseuds/societytrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."<br/><br/>or the one where Louis knows but chooses to act dumb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> it's 3:28 am and i just feel so sad so i wrote this really fast about a personal experience but using harry and louis. enjoy x
> 
> mini playlist for you:  
> the way by zack hemsey  
> jesus christ by brand new  
> all i want by kodaline  
> to build a home by the cinematic orchestra

The first time Louis realized he was in love with Harry was about 6 years ago. He can't exactly point the moment he fell in love with him or when was the first time he saw him and was captured by who he is as a person. He can't tell you that. But after weeks and months of spending time with him, of course, they were in the same class, he was the only thing Louis could think of when he couldn't seem to fall asleep at night. To Louis Harry was just a crush, I mean that was it in the beginning, his friends would ask him who his crush was and he would say no one because he couldn't trust them. But his closest friend knew who it was. It was Harry. 

It started as a crush, a harmless little crush. It would certainly go away just like all his past crushes did. At least that's what he thought. But Harry never left his mind. Not even after somewhere in 7th grade he got a girlfriend. 

It took him by surprise, he didn't know the girl nor ever heard Harry talked about her. He found out when he was walking around class and suddenly heard his group of friends tease him about his new girlfriend. It wasn't until one day she passed by their class that he believed Harry actually started dating. They kissed, just a peck on the lips but that was enough to make his whole world shake. He would never date you, he thought. He felt sad for himself. 

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend," Louis told Harry that day, "I don't know we just started dating." He shrugs. 

"Well, I guess, Congrats! You're growing up!" He's really good at masking his real feelings. After years of being looked down by his father for showing the slightest vulnerability, he learned to suck it up and move on. It wasn't the best thing to do, but there's just so much you can handle and one day he decided to try to get a hold of his life and stop letting everything hurt him so much. So he built walls and now every time he wants to cry, he laughs. It is quite a sight, he have these moments where he's talking to his cousin and when she asks him how was his day he just uncontrollably laughs so hard that tears start to form in his eyes. He never knows if those tears are sad tears or happy ones. He stopped seeing the difference between them after a while.  
"Thank you!" Harry smiles and leaves.  
He always leaves.  
"You're welcome," Louis whispers, 

***********

The first time Harry called Louis his best friend was somewhere around the end of 8th grade, their last year together. You don't know how good it felt to Louis to be called that. To him, it meant that he was something in Harry's life, even though not exactly what he wanted to be. But then again he never knew what he wanted to be to him. He just wanted Harry to always be in his life by now.  
  
"What high school you got into?" Harry asks one day through Facebook,  
Louis: I got into Gateway High School, you?  
Harry: Christ Bond High School...  
Louis: Oh, that's not a good high school.  
Harry: Why?  
Louis: Mr. Roberts told us, don't you remember? He said that was not a good high school.  
Harry: Oh.  
Louis: Yeah  
Harry: What should I do then?  
Louis: Maybe go to round two and pick another high school?  
Harry: But what high school should I pick?  
  
Louis really wanted to tell him to pick his high school. That would mean they would go to the same school, and may even get some of the same classes. It would also mean that they would be together at last and the harsh reality that he might never see Harry again wouldn't really become so real. But he never told Harry that. Part of the reason was because maybe it might reveal to Harry that he wanted him close. Another part was because Harry deserved to go to somewhere he actually wanted to go to, and Louis was not going to prevent him to go to a place he would be happy going at. He deserved to be happy, even if it meant Louis got the scraps of what Harry's emotion would leave behind.  
  
Louis: I don't know but I can help you find a school, just tell me what you're looking for...  
Harry: THANK YOU  
Louis: No problem :) 

***********

The first time Louis touched Harry hands was purely based on an accident. They were sitting at the same table when their hands brushed against each other. Harry's hands were so cold, Louis couldn't figure out why. Harry was hot, not in the physical appearance way but he was hot as in whenever you would see him your eyes would feel really hot and you weren't able to stare at him for longer than 30 seconds. At least for Louis. How could a boy that made Louis feel so warm be so cold? 

***********

The last time Louis and Harry were in the same place together was on their homeroom classroom on the last day of middle school. Louis can't remember how they said their goodbyes or what was the last thing they physically said to each other. He can't remember that. 

But he can remember the nights he stayed awake until 4am to just talk to him. 

Because Harry only seemed to have time for him on the very late times of the night. As if Louis was a hidden secret that could only come up when everything was dark and Harry wasn't so busy doing other things. As if he wasn't important enough to think about when Harry was busy during the day. But it didn't mattered, not to Louis, because Harry talked to him. It was enough.

And now it has been 6 years since they were put together in the same class. It was not fate. He never loved him. Louis knows this, but he can't seem to grasp the idea of it. But Harry will always be in his mind, even when they haven't talked in 2 years now. But, the memories have never been so vivid as they are now. So, he needed to let them out, share them. Tell people how one day he met a boy named Harry, who he loved dearly and who he spent most of his nights and days thinking about. A boy that probably doesn't even remember him. A boy that become his whole world when he was and is nothing in his.

**Author's Note:**

> if there's any mistakes, i apologize. it's really late and i can't edit it plus im not good at writing srry! 
> 
> btw, i have a story on wattpad (not harry&louis) but it is more about my personal experience(s) like this one so if you wanna read it my username is angsteen, it's called "win or lose" 
> 
> have a good day/night!


End file.
